And now for something completely different

If you know me, you know about Wendy, at least to some extent. If you are someone who just stumbled upon my blog (got introduced to it by a friend, whatever), you undoubtedly have no clue who Wendy is, so I shall explain, as best I can.

In 1997, Wendy was my co-worker. She became a very supportive friend as I dealt with my divorce from my first wife, Drue (yes, that's how she spells it, don't blame me). Around that same time, Wendy was just ending her 10-year relationship with Tony. In 1998 we began dating, and after several discussions about living together/commitment, on Halloween I proposed, and we moved in together. On Christmas day, we got married in Vegas. Because of various personal issues of mine, I was not a good husband. I did not actually cheat on her, but I came very close. July 31, 1999, my dad (stepfather) died back home in Montana. When I went home for the funeral, I felt it imperative that I move home to help my mom deal with things without dad. Wendy, even though our marriage was on the fence, decided to give me one more chance to be the husband she needed and deserved, and moved with me. By the end of 2001, it was clear that I wasn't accomplishing the task at hand, and on Valentine's Day (the only court date available at the time) our divorce was finalized. A few months later, it became clear to us that, while we weren't very good at being married, we were even worse at being divorced, and we got back together. Then we broke up again. Then we got back together again. Then we got separate places, and "just dated". Then, in 2005, we were both back in college, and looking at the University of Utah for grad school and such, and her grandmother needed shoulder surgery and someone to help her take care of herself, as she was in the early stages of Alzheimer's. So, we both moved back to Utah, still "dating", with separate apartments, but mine right above hers in the same complex. I was still working through those issues, getting better, then in 2006 I made a decision that she felt was an absolute betrayal (no, not a woman, it was a money thing). We were already in the process of looking for a house to move into together, and after a LOT of discussion and emotional debate, we decided that, even though we were living together in the house, it was not a permanent situation, that one day down the road we would split up again, permanently. See, I had destroyed her trust, and that can't be fixed, ever. Well, because God is an Iron, or Fate hates me, or I owe some serious Karma, or pure chance, little back and arm and leg and neck problems finally hit overload, and my spine basically gave up. Turns out I have Spondylosis, spinal arthritis, and between the pain and spasms and loss of control and pain and the drugs to try and control it all, I can't work anymore, April 2007.
Well, Wendy tried to hang on, but she was miserable, terribly depressed, hating coming home to me (not because of the disability, because of the trust), so she finally said "that's it".
What makes it really funny is that I had finally conquered all those issues, and for the first time in my life I was breaking up with someone and didn't have a "rebound" girl right handy. I finally understood the concepts of "til death do us part", and true monogamy (no flirting, no internet "chatting"), and the one person I wanted to live the rest of my life with said "we'll still be friends".

So now, we live in the same house, have separate bedrooms, and are moving on with our separate lives. Wendy, being a very attractive, slim, intelligent, witty woman who looks much younger than she is and who is also still a college student, has had no trouble finding some dates and getting over me. Our marriage and relationship are fond memories, but she has no interest in me anymore, I'm just a roomate who constantly needs a ride somewhere.

I, on the other hand, being a "morbidly obese" (according to my doctors), disabled, unemployed guy with no money to take a date anywhere, and no car to pick her up in the first place, am finding it VERY hard to even find a date, let alone finding someone who can help me get over Wendy. There is one "prospect" at this point, an SCA friend who is recently divorced herself, who definitely knows what it takes to get past the quagmire of emotions and memories, or at least how to start, so we are talking about giving it a try, going slow, and seeing what happens.

So, now you know about Wendy, my second ex-wife, best friend, former lover, and now just a roomate.